Cubicle Etiquette: Music

Attention Readers:

As discussed in the previous post, you are surrounded by co-workers.  

Thankfully, the world isn't completely filled with people just like you.  Please keep this in mind when listening to music.

In 1919, headsets were invented for use in the music industry.  In 1958, a man named John C. Koss developed headphones for use with stereo systems to avoid DISTURBING OTHERS AROUND HIM.

These days, they are known as earbuds.  They cost anywhere from $1.74 (amazon.com) to $129.95 (bose.com).  

Regardless of their price and origin, these "earbuds" will keep your music inside your own ears.  Keeping your music to yourself is 100% necessary in the workplace if you listen to any of the following:

Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger         Yes, I "got them" but do not plan to show them off in my cubicle. 
Gym Class Heroes - Stereo Hearts    LIAR. If your heart is a stereo beating for me, my fist is a stereo that beats you.

Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks   Yeah, you better run.

Adele - Someone Like You                      Precisely the problem. Lets be original! AT40 BE GONE!

Bruno Mars - Lighters                       You want lighters? I've got lighters, and imma light up your face.

Britney Spears - I Wanna Go             BRING IT.

Katy Perry - Last Friday Night       If anything mentioned in this song actually happened to you, we should be friends. But it didn't, so we're not.

LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem         The only time I want to hear this song is when I am drunk. And not with you.

Rihanna - Cheers                             Its not "the freakin' weekend" so this is not appropriate.

Pitbull - Give Me Everything           "Grabbed somebody sexy, told 'em HEEEYY." Now what? You are just rude.

Do you get it yet? If you don't, its ok. Send me an email. I can go on for hours.

I just want you to know that you haven't heard my music, but I assure you, you would hate it. I HAVE heard your music (unfortunately) and know I hate it. So, get those earbuds you stole from my desk ( I WILL FIND YOU) and pop those suckers in your earballs. 

Save us all the pain.

If you are in an office, this rule does not apply. If you are in an office AND stole my earbuds, I will kill you with zero hesitation.