Cubicle Etiquette: Clumping

Do you sit in a cubicle minding your own business, avoiding the surrounding distractions all day?  

Have you ever snapped out of the focused-on-work-zone to find a clump of chattering people standing around you?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, you are not alone.

There are several questions that come to mind in this situation:

1. Who are these people?

2. Where did these people come from?

3. What are these people talking about?

4. Why do these people need to talk about it here?

5. When did these people get here?

6. How can these people think any part of this situation is ok?

While there are no definite answers to these questions, recent studies have shown:

1. These people are called "co-workers."  They work for the same company that you work for.

2. Unknown to you for some time, these people have filled the surrounding cubicles and offices.

3. These people will talk of many things. Mostly things unrelated to anything you're working on.

4. These people are trying to get your attention by getting all up in your bidness and by gossiping about things you don't care about.

5. These people arrived sometime after the last time you returned from the second floor women's restroom and placed MY earbuds back inside your earballs.

6. That is precisely the problem. These people are not thinking.

Wondering what the solution to this problem might be? We have been working against this problem for years and have come up with the following solutions:

1. Befriend a select few of these "co-workers." You will immediately gravitate toward the right ones. If you do not, please email the editor for detailed information on how to get out of this "friendship."

2. Do not, under any circumstances, fully enter another person's cubicle. A person can be sucked into a "Clumping" situation very quickly. Simply linger outside the entrance if it ever becomes necessary to leave your desk.

3. Ignore this sort of talk. It will not be useful.

4. It is important to listen to some gossip, as it could prove to be useful in some situations.

5. To avoid a "Clumping" situation, simply create small piles on the floor directly in the entry to your cubicle. This way, only the co-workers you have befriended will venture in.

6. Unfortunately, there is no way to force a person to think like you.

Good luck!